Wedding Guest Quilt

This week I hooked up with the owner of the Wedding Guest quilt to show off what has been accomplished. All the blocks are together with a rich chocolate brown sash to help separate the chaos of the blocks. She picked out the border, backing and binding material.

It's really hard to tell from my poor photography but the border is a rich cream on cream herringbone print. The back is a beautiful plum with grapes and leaves woven into the fabric.

Today, I got to put the border on and make the backing. This is a beautiful quilt. We'll get together in a week or so to talk with the Long-arm quilter to take it to the next step. The border is so close to the color of the floor (where I laid it to take a picture) it's hard to tell where the quilt stops and the floor begins.

Wedding Scrap Quilt

I met a new customer this week - thanks to the wonderful people at The Quilt Loft who keep passing out my business cards - and she handed me a bundle of material to make into a quilt. She had asked the people who attended her wedding to bring material that meant something to them. It is an interesting combination of colors and patterns without an obvious connection - at least there isn't a connection by just looking at the material. So it is going to have to be a design as you go quilt - with some creative adjustments along the way to make everything fit.

 

Now that I have all the material ironed and the clothing pulled apart, it is easier to see what I've got but I haven't quite come up with an idea for putting it together. Very interesting project!

 



Just a few quick notes...

I met with the owner of the Wedding Guest quilt and we picked out the border, backing and binding material. The top and back should be ready in a couple weeks to take to the Long-arm quilter for the next step. This one is turning out quite nice.

Met with a new customer who had people bring pieces of material that meant something to them to her wedding. We went through what she received and it is going to very interesting figuring out how to put it together into a quilt. Fortunately, she is open to the "scrap" quilt look and she likes that the material doesn't have a color scheme. There are a couple pieces she really likes so those will be the focus materials and others will fade into the background. This one will take a lot of prep work - lots of different kinds of material in various conditions. Should be fun.

Talked with the customer who wanted placemats made and her life has changed a bit in the past few months. Her partner has been in the hospital for months and will be coming home soon but will be in a wheelchair for a while. We are sifting gears and will make a lap quilt instead of placemats. I bought a couple solids to use in the boarder. I'll post pictures once I get the idea that's in my head made up.

I get to join a couple other women at a Craft Fare Saturday to sell my quilts. Terrifying and exciting all at the same time. Who'da thought I'd ever get to a point where selling something I made would be a good thing. Since I've never done something like this, I'm not sure what to expect but if I get to sell a couple quilts, I'm down with that.

And, the first quilt I took to The Quilt Loft for help is being picked up by its new owner today! I made this one from scraps of material left over from the dresses I used to make for little girls. I'd only done one other quilt and wasn't sure what I was doing or if I was really interested. It is so great to see it go to a new born - and a good home :)

Lots going on and lots to do - just the way I like it.

I know, I know! It's been a while since I posted anything. I took a little vacation (just in my head) from Daring Greatly and that spread out into other forms of vacationing from the normal routine. All except the habit of quilting :)

Disappearing 4-patch

This is a surprise quilt - to me at least. I started out with material and a very simple pattern but shifted to the Disappearing tutorial thinking if it didn't work, it was just a couple of fat quarters - I could toss them and no one would be the wiser. Now that it's almost together, I'm not sure what to do with it but I'm liking it!

Here's what the blocks looked like after the slice and dice:

 

There were a bunch of possible lay outs - as you can imagine. I had 21 blocks to play with - odd number but that's the amount of material I had. After the blocks spent several days on the design board (which is really our spare bed), I had a rather bizarre idea to integrate a piece of yellow material to make it look like the Yellow Brick road - I'd just tried to watch the new Wizard of Oz movie and was overly influenced by those cute little Munchkins.

The math turned out to be just a little too much for me - figuring out how to add yellow sash on 3 out of 4 sides of the block and still have everything fit together made my brain smoke. So I stepped back from that idea but still wanted to use the yellow material - it brought out the yellow in the focus fabric.

With my new-found skills from the Quilt Basics class I'm taking, I decided to put some yellow on the edges of the outer blocks, fill in with sash of different widths and here is the results. I totally didn't expect the way the blocks almost look like hearts or that the center looks like a framed picture. Funny how the "design as you go" approach always seems to show me things I couldn't have ever imagined.

And for the back, I took a small piece of left over flannel from another project and used the rest of the top material. I wanted to imitate the blocks on the front - only bigger. Here's what the back looks like.

My plan is to do the quilting my self on this one - just simple stitch in the ditch. And that way, I can take it with me to the Craft Fare this weekend. I think it would be good to have something to work on so the passers by don't feel like I'm just sitting there waiting to pounce on them.

Basic Quilting Class - #1

I've also been doing my homework for the Basics class I'm taking. We postponed class until next week and I'm glad I didn't wait until then to do the blocks we were assigned to do. Although the blocks aren't my favorite, getting to practice all the new techniques is going to make all my other quilts better (and easier).

Here we have a house - looks like one, doesn't it? I don't think it would pass the city inspector but it is great for a quilt (it's a bit more lopsided than I'd want to live in).

And then there is a block with the year:

And my favorite - a cat. We were given a book with all sorts of animal blocks but the cat called to me. If I were serious about using this block, I'd learn more about appliqué so I could "poof" up the tail and make the ears flop over - to make it look more like our precious Rave.

I also found a tutorial for making half-triangle squares that I wanted to try out so I made another one of the blocks that uses a lot of HTSs. I didn't get the math right (no surprise there) so the block is 12 x 12 instead of 10 x 10 but the method in the tutorial is very easy and there is zero waste. I'll use this method the next time I need HTS. And give the block to the Scrap Squad to integrate into one of their fabulous quilts.

While I was at it, I decided to make a couple more of the other blocks. I'm not sure which ones will end up in the quilt top but at least this way, I have plenty to chose from and I've gotten lots of practice. It's great to have this level of confidence - I think I could pull apart and make just about any block now.

Wedding Guest Quilt

The last block for this quilt is now in place. Now, the customer and I are ready to get together to pick out the border, backing, and binding material. We are having a little trouble with schedules but it will happen in the next week or so.

Disappearing 4-Patch Quilt

I got to pull another drawer out of my job box and start on a new quilt the other day. It had started with 4 fat quarters I found at Pacific Fabric Outlet. I'd found a pattern called Baby Basic Blocks that used fat quarters and put that pattern in the box thinking it was the right one for the material. But, what a surprise, when I pulled it out and started thinking about how it would look, the pattern wasn't quite what I wanted.

I'd seen a Disappearing 4-Patch tutorial on Pinterest (don't you just love the ideas that come from all those pictures?) and decided it was the perfect way to show off the material. The tutorial is at AndiJohnsonSews - in case you want to take a look.

Here are the fat quarters that I started with. The one with the Unicorn is my focus piece - lots of wonderful colors for matching.

 

Then I pulled from my stash and what a surprise, this is going to be a lovely Turquoise number. I'm beginning to think my Turquoise phase is a life-time thing :)

I now have 20 4-patch blocks ready for their Disappearing act. I'm not sure that is enough so may go back to the stash to find a few more remnants to grow the quilt size.

 

Baker's Dozen

Finally finished stitching the binding on the Baker's Dozen quilt. It's been washed and all the machine quilting I did seems to be still there - that's always a relief. It will make a nice addition to the table when I go to the Craft Fare in a couple weeks.

Daring Greatly

Now Brene' is talking about Numbing as a shield. When I saw this title, I thought about the Dentist; how the shot of Novocain always feels worse than anything until I hear the drill. I'm grateful for the numbing once the drilling starts but I always wonder if recovering from time in the Dentist chair wouldn't be easier if I didn't start with a fat lip. And then I wondered if reading this section was going to end up with a fat lip - but I read on anyway.

In the first paragraph I was caught by the phrase, "if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us." So numbing isn't just the obvious vices: drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, etc. Brene's talking about what I do to distance myself from me. And, since the way to feel connected, to live a Wholehearted life is to show up as myself; this numbing shield keeps me from engaging. And, driving my decision to use this shield is shame, which leads to anxiety and disconnection. What a tangled web I weave.

Taking jobs with a high profile is always good for my bank accounts but making the job my only focus has led me to develop a lot of "busy" habits. My life consists of 10-12 hours of work that drains me of all my energy - physical, emotional and mental. I sleep for a couple hours and do it all over again. And, I never feel like I get enough done or do anything good enough. Sounds like numbing to me.

The Daring Greatly strategy for numbing is Setting Boundaries, Finding True Comfort and Cultivating Spirit. All things I am very interested in.

Brene' lists three things Wholehearted people talked about when it comes to numbing:

1. Learn how to actually feel your feelings
2. Stay mindful about numbing behaviors
3. Learn to lean into the discomfort of hard emotions

I would like to move from "finding a way to manage and soothe anxiety" to recognizing and "changing the behaviors that led to anxiety." Again, the first step seems to be mindfulness - paying attention to my own behavior and stopping what I habitually do so I have the presence of mind to use one (or more) of the Daring Greatly strategies.

"...our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."

What I now understand - after reading about these shields - is I barely know who I am (especially at an emotional level) let alone accept who I am. I feel like all the seminars, classes, therapy and books I've studied have skirted around the fact that I am disconnected from myself.

I'm not sure exactly what I will do with all this; now that I've come this conclusion. Might take a few days or weeks or maybe just knowing and recognizing the triggers will led to something that works for me and that increase my self-acceptance. I think that is my true goal (probably always has been). I want to be happy with myself on all levels.

Job Box

In my  quilting space, I have what I call a "Job Box". It is a (rather inexpensive) rolling draw thing. There are 6 drawers. The top one is where I toss scraps that I intend to give to the scrap squad - they make quilts for foster kids. the rest of the drawers are filled with projects that are ready to put together: the pattern or a copy is in the drawer, the material is all there and usually, there is a few notes on what I want to do - just in case I forget.

Typically, I pull the bottom drawer out when I am ready to start a new project. As soon as all the material is on the cutting board, I get to start thinking about what to put in that empty drawer.

I hear quilters say all the time that they have many projects going at the same time and I realized that my Job Box is that structured part of my brain that insists I finish one project before I start another one. So maybe I'm not totally converted to the patchwork frame of mind after all. I may never be completely devoid of the project management skills I use to make money.

Gentle Daisy

The oldest project in my Job Box is one that I've been avoiding for quite a while - letting it sit in the bottom drawer while I did projects from the next to the bottom drawer (rule violator). And, I just couldn't pass it over again so I got it all laid out the other day and realized the reason I've been procrastinating on this one is because I really like the material and didn't want to cut it all up.

And what is the art of quilting? I asked myself. You take beautiful material, cut it up into little pieces and make another piece of beautiful material. So that's what I did. This is a really simple, small piece so once I got started, I totally lost track of time (and blog posting) and just kept sewing.

Now, I have a completed piece - I even did the quilting on this one. That is ready for the binding to be stitched. I'm going to need to just set aside a couple days and get some of these quilt bindings done.

RCA Quilts

I have finally finished RCA Quilt #3. It is ready to deliver which will probably happen the weekend of Thanksgiving.

And, I got the RCA Quilt that we are going to donate back from the Long-arm quilter this week. I have the binding sewn on but there are a couple other quilts waiting for binding work so it will rest quietly until it's turn.

 

 

We used a Heart quilting motif and variegated blue and yellow thread - although it is hard to tell by this picture. It turned out really well, I think.

Daring Greatly

The second shield is Perfectionism and as I read this section, I get a knot in my stomach and my head throbs. This one is a little too close to home.

 

For me, a big part of being invisible is doing everything in such a way that I don't draw any attention to myself. A perfect day is one where I'm not noticed. Being perfect means no one has to step in my face and correct - or even comment - on my behavior. I was always convinced that if I were perfectly invisible, no one would hurt me (again).

 

As I've learned more about the experiences I had as a kid, I've also learned that none of my efforts to be perfect kept me out of abusive situations. It wasn't until I was willing to stand fast and say, "Don't do that!" both to myself and others that I began to feel some relief from the cycles of abuse and the shame that goes along with it.

 

Now, after a few years of living a healthy life, reading about how perfectionism is a shield against engaging, it occurs to me I have only just begun to understand how to live; how to be engaged.

 

Perfection doesn't exist because there is no way to control the perception of others. I can, however, change how I perceive myself (sounds like my next assignment - no deadline please.) Perfect is addictive and sets me up to feel shame, judgment and blame. How could that possibly led to a Wholehearted life?

 

The step away from this shield is brilliant - Appreciate the Beauty of My Cracks. The idea is to go from "What will people think." to "I am enough." My first step is going to be Mindfulness.  I want to recognize when I'm choosing perfectionism as a response to shame so I can stop, smile, find something to be grateful for and try again.

 

"There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." And I'm all for more light in my life.

Basic Quilting Class #1

Homework is finally done - not that there was so much or it was difficult, I just got way too distracted by the Log Cabin block. I pulled bits and pieces from my stash and made a dozen or so blocks. You only need 1.5 inch strips so I decided to just keep making these blocks out of scrap from quilts I'm working on until there are enough blocks to make a quilt -a scrappy quilt :)

The other blocks are great for practicing. One of the techniques we learned in class helps cut down on the waste - you draw a line through the square and sew a scant 1/4" seam on either side so you end up with two half triangle squares. This means the square has very small seams - which caused trouble for my sewing machine. Although I get the need to cut down on waste, I think I'll pass on this one in the future.

Another technique we learned was to make 2-for-1 half triangle squares. You mark down the diagonal (like always) and them mark 1/2 inch from the original line - on the side that is going to be trimmed off. You end up with all these lovely little half triangle squares just itching to go into the design of the quilt (or travel off to the scrap squad for them to use).

Here's what I came up with:

Basic Quilting Class #1

This week we have 3 blocks to make - each of them different. The first one is a lo cabin. I've done several log cabins and am totally intrigued by them. There are so many different ways to put this block together the options seem endless. I got a little obsessed (big surprise) and made two from the material for the class quilt and then spent some time in my Fat Quarter stash and pulled material to make a few more blocks. Who knows what I'll do with them but I thought I could use the practice.

Even Michael likes the blocks for class:

Wedding Guest Quilt

I spent a little time at The Quilt Loft with the owner of this quilt so she could arrange all the blocks. She had a very different idea for how they should be arranged so I'm really glad we got together - this would have been quite difficult via Pinterest.

Over the weekend, I got as much of the sash done as I could. The owner took one of the black blocks to put the details of the wedding on. Once I get that last block back, the piecing can be finished.

Here's what it looks like so far:

And, yesterday I finally finished the binding for G's RCA quilt. I've decided I just need to go to a coffee shop to get into binding. If I'm home, I want to sew - another big surprise. There is a shop next to the quilt store so I'll just kill two birds with one stone. Yesterday, just as I was leaving the parking log, the Long-arm quilter called asking questions about the RCA quilt she has. I just stepped into the Quilt Loft and we got that all worked out. It should be ready by the end of the week. Oh joy, another binding project :) But I'll work on the Baker's Dozen binding first.

Daring Greatly

A couple days ago, I had lunch with a friend and heard myself explain that the last couple months off (not working) had given me time to really dig into this book and consider how I want to change some things so I can engage and be more connected. As much as I need to work so I can finish paying off the mortgage, the things Brene' has explained are things I was ready to hear and do something with. Universal timing is the best, isn't it?

The Vulnerability Armory is filled with tricks we learned as kids to become invisible - so we didn't get hurt. I've known for a long time that invisible is one of my key personality traits. I even joke about wearing an Invisibility Cloak some days - people bump into me and are surprised to see someone there (if they notice bumping into anything). Invisible was a way I could avoid being abused. I never considered it was also keeping me from connecting, from living a wholehearted life.

The first step in moving toward engagement is what Brene' calls the Enough Mandate. Believing I'm enough comes with worthiness, boundaries and engagement. That second one is intriguing to me - who knew being vulnerable, engaging could have boundaries?

There are three shields (weapons) we all have in are our armory. To disarm them requires a belief of "being enough." The key is to recognize which shield we are using in the situation and decide to disarm it.

Shield 1: Foreboding Joy
This is a curious one to me. When something good/joy filled happens; instead of diving into the goodness you expect something terrible to happen. True joy - the kind that fills me up to overflowing - happens when I am willing to be vulnerable.

So here's my confusion... I'm not aware of expecting the other shoe to drop when things are going well but I am very aware that I don't do vulnerable much. Maybe this isn't a shield I use often?

And then, I turn the page and see the title Daring Greatly: Practicing Gratitude. So when life is good; which required being vulnerable, instead of expecting something bad to happen I say "Thank You!" Gratitude is the antidote for Foreboding Joy.

Brene' talks about joy and gratitude as spiritual experiences, not just human emotions and I totally agree. Several years ago when I decided to be more grateful, I started by doing exercises in a book - it was homework that needed to be checked off my To-Do list (really connected, huh?). I didn't believe it would change my life in any way.

Now, I can't imagine doing anything without saying thank you and believing that there is a Universal force (bigger than me) who hears my gift of thanks and returns that energy to me. This book is a great example of that gift return - I was ready for the next step and this is a great study guide. Yes, there are things in my life I'd rather not face - like making a house payment when I haven't worked in several months - but I have a beautiful home in an amazing neighborhood that I love. How can I be anything but grateful for that?

I love the way Brene' explains joy:

1. Joy comes to us in moments - we risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary. For me, the extraordinary is no more mortgage payments but what I'm so grateful for is running water, heat, an amazing view of the bay, and the list goes on.
2. When I honor what I have, I'm honoring what isn't in my life. I am learning to love myself and am grateful to still be alive. I no longer have to carry the tape that tells me I'm not smart and not pretty.
3. Every time I lean into joy and give in to those moments, I build resilience and cultivate hope.

Joy and gratitude are part of me - embedded in my thoughts, behavior and the fabric of my life. I've left things behind in the past few years that have governed my entire life and in their place, I have love for myself that I'm not sure what to do with. Knowing that this new attitude is paving the way for more connectivity is very satisfying; very exciting.