Twinkle, Twinkle

I knew that not having a sewing machine for a couple weeks was going to be a challenge so I spent the first week at Disneyland - such a sacrifice :) and came home with a cold that demanded some attention for a couple days. Then it was Michael's birthday so I spent the day in the kitchen - he's so easy to please, a few dishes from Julia and he's a happy camper.

This morning I woke up with some energy and a longing to do something "quilty". Luckily, the McCall's Christmas issue arrived yesterday and in the first few pages is a pattern for ornaments that looked very interesting. I'm not much of a material hoarder but I do have a stack of 5" squares that I've cut from left over material. And I have some time and energy to cut out a few.

I didn't have any "Christmas" scraps but then not everyone's tree is decked out in greens and reds, right? Now I'm curious to see if I actually put them together or if, once I get my machine back, I'm more interested in bigger pieces.

Daring Greatly

I got to chat with my friend who recommended Daring Greatly to me and we agreed, there is a lot of value here but thinking about integrating the lessons in this book is a bit scary. When I came home and opened the book, it opened to the following quote, "What we know matters, but who we are matters more." Sort'a sums up my feelings so far. I've always relied on presenting what I know and hiding who I am. I'm excited about understanding how to reverse this behavior, I think.

Then the very next chapter is about Scarcity - the cultural messages that I've totally assimilated into my thinking and therefore my self-image of never being enough. For the past couple of years, I've been practicing gratitude but it wasn't until reading this chapter that it occurred to me that my definition of gratitude is partially based in how thoroughly integrated the concept is scarcity is for me.

I've given myself a task to reword my statements of gratitude to eliminate the limitations I see - when I see them. I know myself well enough to know how to get through my resistance to change and am still a bit concerned about the Pandora sensation. But the things I expect of the Universe are never going to arrive if I always assume someone deserves them more than I do, are they?

I love pushing through my own roadblocks and shortcomings but there is always a few moments of hesitation when I don't know exactly what the outcome will be - how can I measure my success if I don't know what to expect. Daring Greatly isn't about expectations, it's about being who I am at the core - about showing up.

Should be interesting...