Job Box

In my  quilting space, I have what I call a "Job Box". It is a (rather inexpensive) rolling draw thing. There are 6 drawers. The top one is where I toss scraps that I intend to give to the scrap squad - they make quilts for foster kids. the rest of the drawers are filled with projects that are ready to put together: the pattern or a copy is in the drawer, the material is all there and usually, there is a few notes on what I want to do - just in case I forget.

Typically, I pull the bottom drawer out when I am ready to start a new project. As soon as all the material is on the cutting board, I get to start thinking about what to put in that empty drawer.

I hear quilters say all the time that they have many projects going at the same time and I realized that my Job Box is that structured part of my brain that insists I finish one project before I start another one. So maybe I'm not totally converted to the patchwork frame of mind after all. I may never be completely devoid of the project management skills I use to make money.

Gentle Daisy

The oldest project in my Job Box is one that I've been avoiding for quite a while - letting it sit in the bottom drawer while I did projects from the next to the bottom drawer (rule violator). And, I just couldn't pass it over again so I got it all laid out the other day and realized the reason I've been procrastinating on this one is because I really like the material and didn't want to cut it all up.

And what is the art of quilting? I asked myself. You take beautiful material, cut it up into little pieces and make another piece of beautiful material. So that's what I did. This is a really simple, small piece so once I got started, I totally lost track of time (and blog posting) and just kept sewing.

Now, I have a completed piece - I even did the quilting on this one. That is ready for the binding to be stitched. I'm going to need to just set aside a couple days and get some of these quilt bindings done.

RCA Quilts

I have finally finished RCA Quilt #3. It is ready to deliver which will probably happen the weekend of Thanksgiving.

And, I got the RCA Quilt that we are going to donate back from the Long-arm quilter this week. I have the binding sewn on but there are a couple other quilts waiting for binding work so it will rest quietly until it's turn.

 

 

We used a Heart quilting motif and variegated blue and yellow thread - although it is hard to tell by this picture. It turned out really well, I think.

Daring Greatly

The second shield is Perfectionism and as I read this section, I get a knot in my stomach and my head throbs. This one is a little too close to home.

 

For me, a big part of being invisible is doing everything in such a way that I don't draw any attention to myself. A perfect day is one where I'm not noticed. Being perfect means no one has to step in my face and correct - or even comment - on my behavior. I was always convinced that if I were perfectly invisible, no one would hurt me (again).

 

As I've learned more about the experiences I had as a kid, I've also learned that none of my efforts to be perfect kept me out of abusive situations. It wasn't until I was willing to stand fast and say, "Don't do that!" both to myself and others that I began to feel some relief from the cycles of abuse and the shame that goes along with it.

 

Now, after a few years of living a healthy life, reading about how perfectionism is a shield against engaging, it occurs to me I have only just begun to understand how to live; how to be engaged.

 

Perfection doesn't exist because there is no way to control the perception of others. I can, however, change how I perceive myself (sounds like my next assignment - no deadline please.) Perfect is addictive and sets me up to feel shame, judgment and blame. How could that possibly led to a Wholehearted life?

 

The step away from this shield is brilliant - Appreciate the Beauty of My Cracks. The idea is to go from "What will people think." to "I am enough." My first step is going to be Mindfulness.  I want to recognize when I'm choosing perfectionism as a response to shame so I can stop, smile, find something to be grateful for and try again.

 

"There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." And I'm all for more light in my life.